Ken Voorhees, CSW
Psychotherapist
347-831-1799

Guidelines for Discipline

 

1)

Enforcing rules and consequences should be seen as an opportunity to teach social skills.
   
  • Interpersonal Skills
  • Kindness/sensitivity to others
  • Ability to tolerate frustration; anger management
  • Actions have consequences
  • Respect for authority
2) Consequences should be logical and appropriate.
3) Consequences should be short term; one day at a time.
4) Consequences should have some STING.
5) Consequences should be enforceable.
6) Consequences should be consistently enforced.
7) Consequences should be given matter-of-factly and without high levels of anger.
   
  • All kids test limits. It's their job!
  • You can even sympathize with their frustration or anger while you hold them responsible for their behaviors.
8) Consequences should never be scary or shaming/humiliating.
9) Never argue with kids about their consequences; let the consequences work for you.
   
  • Use broken record technique
  • Ignore or walk away from tantrums
10) Accountability Papers: Have your child write an essay long enough to cover the following information about their misbehavior. They should stay grounded until they finish the paper to your satisfaction.
   
  • What did I do wrong?
  • Who did affect and how?
  • What could I have done differently?

 

© 2003 Ken Voorhees